Ready to go

In the midst of all the traveling I’ve done in the past few weeks (LA, San Francisco, Sacramento, Michigan, Japan, and now Cambodia), I’ve hardly had any time to reflect on my situation or how I feel about it. Most recently, I spent a week in Tokyo after being away for about four months. It was an odd experience; I felt as though I haven’t been away long enough to have forgotten anything, but simply being there reminded me of all the details that once defined my life. To wax slightly philosophically, it was a vivid reminder of the ever-changing nature of the world. Many things changed imperceptibly, such as the crops in the field next door, the angle of the sun, and the look of some of the buildings. However, when taken together, these changes were enough to make me aware that my memories are not actual representations of what was once there, but artificial mental constructs that capture the narrow perspective I held at the time. It’s nice to be reminded sometimes.

I had a really great time seeing my friends and visiting favorite places. It was even more fun to have someone with me whose personality and tastes are so closely matched with my own to share the adventures with. My brother Aaron is setting off on his own adventure; he’ll be living alone in Tokyo while trying to find a job and clearing tedious legal hurdles to a long-term visa. I showed Aaron all of my favorite spots and gave him a crash course in navigating the idiosyncrasies of Japanese society. In the end though, he’ll have to discover most of it by himself (which is true for most things in life, I guess).

Japan also gave me the time I needed to find my balance through meditation. I occasionally skipped sessions or allowed my mind to be filled with busy thoughts in the hectic weeks up until I left, but with the chance to have uninterrupted time to myself in the mornings, I’ve rediscovered how wonderful life can be when I live in a heightened state of awareness.

As for the future, I’m not really sure what I should expect when I arrive in Cambodia. I think I’ve prepared myself (mentally) as best I could, so there is nothing left but to wait and see how it actually unfolds. I don’t really have any reservations about anything. Maybe the mosquitoes? The heat? But even those are nothing more than trivial concerns. I think the best way to describe my mood is cautious exuberance. I’m really excited to go and make a contribution, but I’m not setting any expectations that might hurt me later on if they aren’t fulfilled. I’m very, very ready.

In a few hours, I’ll board my flight to Singapore, where I’ll be from 1:30am to 8:15am. I think I’ll find a nice place to nap and wait it out. I doubt there’s much going on in the city at that time.

Here’s a shot of the dormant rice fields that shone so vividly green and gold when I last rode the train from downtown Tokyo to the airport, a reminder that even beautiful things don't last